


Stay Quiet, Stay Near

by parisienneheart



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Beaches, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 13:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4831181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parisienneheart/pseuds/parisienneheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis are community college skater bros on a last hurrah roadtrip along the California coastline before Zayn leaves to his transfer university. Louis harbors some angsty feelings about being left behind and realizes he might have more than friendly feelings for his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Quiet, Stay Near

**Author's Note:**

> For Zouis week, but also something that came into my head and was so irresistible I had to flesh out! This is very self indulgent, as I am making both Louis and Zayn from southern California and this entire fic is set in California, but it's an alternate universe of my dreams.
> 
> Enjoy!

The sun rays glinted directly into Zayn's face as he sat perched on the large, wooden log that served as a bench. He had a hand up over his eyes, squinting against the light.

“Why don't you just put your sunnies on?” Louis asked, as he stared through his own aviators perched on the bridge of his nose.

“Want to watch this properly,” Zayn said, his eyes narrowing even further.

Louis tilted his head and flicked his glasses up to the top of his hair. He blinked against the brightness of the orange sun, big and glistening and making Louis already see green shadows in his irises when he blinked.

They were both sitting at a view point along the Pacific Coast Highway a few miles way from Santa Cruz, completely quiet except for the muffled sounds of the cool wind whipping against them and roaring atop the faraway waves. Louis focused on the orange horizon, how the shine of the water blurred the line between the ocean and the sky. How the waves lapped and crashed faraway on the rock formations near them.

It felt like he and Zayn were at the end of the earth. And Louis supposed, they were.

The water was dark, uninviting, foreboding with the uncertainty of its depth. The wind was no better. Even in mid-September, Louis's arms prickled with goose bumps. The scene looked like how Louis felt on the inside.

Seemingly calm from faraway, but surging and turbulent under the surface.

It was only a matter of hours before he and Zayn would be back home. Before they had to accept that summer was really over and they were going to go their separate ways, heading off to university. Well, university in Zayn's case. In Louis's... another year of part-time community college. He didn't have the grades or test scores to get into any of the schools Zayn got into as a third-year transfer. Just as he figured. Though a part of him had hoped that maybe if he wanted it badly enough—and _god_ , he had never wanted anything so badly—that would have been enough to get him there.

But it wasn't.

“Hey, we should draw this out for one more day,” Zayn said, interrupting Louis's thoughts. He had turned to fully face Louis now, his legs crossed underneath him.

Louis raised his eyebrows as he stared at him. “What?”

Zayn gave him a crooked smile. “I mean, it's stupid to get home in the middle of the night, right? We should... we should go somewhere!”

“Where do you want to go?” Louis asked.

Zayn flattened the snapback on his head, dreamy look in his eyes. “I don't know... somewhere we're never going to go again. Somewhere that no one would expect us to go!”

Louis softly laughed. “The moon?”

Zayn flattened his eyes. “Come on, I'm serious.” And he had his brow wrinkled in a way that made Louis feel bad for joking.

Louis brought his arm over Zayn's shoulder, then stared at him. “All right then, Zayn. Where would you like to go? I'll take you anywhere, babe.”

Zayn laughed, revealing his pink tongue behind those pearly whites. “What about Santa Barbara? Aren't there like otters in the Santa Barbara zoo?”

Louis flicked up an eyebrow. “You want to go to Santa Barbara to see otters?”

Zayn ducked his head, his eyelashes brushing down heavily on his cheeks. “Well, there's the beach and then we could skate too, or... or we could just forget it.”

“No! You want to see otters... We're going to go see some otters!” Louis said as he tapped on Zayn's arm.

“You'd do that for me?” Zayn asked, eyebrows tilting with hope.

_I'd do anything for you,_ Louis wanted to tell him.

But he just curled his lips into a smile instead. “You'll owe me. You're gonna have to take me somewhere I want to go. The next time we take a trip.”

“Okay,” Zayn nodded.

Louis smiled.

At least for now... “next time” seemed to be in their future.

“We should get on the road then, it'll be dark soon,” Zayn said as he nudged Louis's shoulder. “And you're getting chilly.” He rubbed his arm against Louis's, smiling as his eyes squinted happily.

Louis blinked, then rolled his eyes. “I am not chilly!”

Zayn softly chuckled. “Sure you aren't...”

They got back in Louis's car and drove down the coast, the sky turning a darker shade of purple. Zayn stared out the window the entire time, marveling and pointing out anything interesting to Louis. The two-laned road was just empty enough that Louis could also stare at the glistening, purple-pink-blue ocean. Then Zayn curled into the corner of the seat and closed his eyes.

Louis didn't mind.

As the soft electro music played on the stereo, he let his eyes fall upon Zayn when he wasn't busy looking at the highway. Zayn had made a playlist for them to last four hours so that they didn't have to waste too much time listening to the same thing over and over again on their trip to Norcal. Some of it he and Louis already listened to, and some of it Louis was listening to for the first time. Real chill music, perfect for this drive along the sleepy coast.

Zayn had his lips pressed together into a small pout as he leaned the side of his head against his shoulder between the window and his seat. His lashes were gently curled upon his cheeks. His chest heaved slowly and evenly. He looked so at peace and he was so beautiful. It was more than the physical aspect; he was happy and it was radiating from him.

Louis wished he could preserve Zayn in these moments. Not that he doesn't already have sneaky photos of him asleep with his mouth open or in some funny position, some of which he'd specifically taken to make fun of him—but this vision, Zayn letting down his guard, comfortable enough to fall asleep in front of Louis, against the blending watercolors of a sunset, there was no way that a photo would ever capture how perfect it was. How full and warm it made Louis feel in his heart.

Would he ever see this again?

 

+

They got to Santa Barbara in just a few hours, but the closest affordable inn they could stay at was a couple towns inland. It was still early enough that they could grab dinner, but late enough that their parents worried about them being safe. Louis and Zayn each called their parents to let them know where they were. Then they went to grab pizza for dinner and ate at an outdoor table since it was a warm, breezy night.

“Have you seen those documentaries?” Zayn had chattered as soon as they started talking about their plans for the next day. “So adorable! And like... sea otters are so resourceful—they have to be, in order to survive—that's why they need to be with the mom or a surrogate mom so she can teach them how to be proper sea otters, otherwise they have a real hard time after being released back into the wild...”

Louis listened with a smile on his face, only interrupting to tell him “no way, bro” or “sick.” He admired every time Zayn went off on some mini-geek rant on something that excited him. The way his eyes lit up, the way he almost spoke too fast and his voice became higher pitched. Louis loved it.

They looked up more things to do in Santa Barbara on their phones and discussed plans and the ways their little sisters were growing up, how it freaked them out, how Zayn worried that he wouldn't be there to watch out for them.

“I wouldn't let anything happen to them,” Louis told him.

“Right. You'll still be home,” Zayn said, nodding with a warm smile.

“Yeah,” Louis said with a flick of his eyebrows. Being reminded once again. This entire summer, they hadn't really talked about what a real university was going to be like for Zayn.

They had met at the end of their senior year in high school and went to the same community college, took the same classes with the same horrible instructors, but bonded and hung out almost every day over the past two years. They used to talk about how exciting it was when they were both applying to transfer, planning life together as real college bros, as roommates, getting their own place, all the parties they would go to or have, all the things they would get to do in a city on their own—getting to have a real life outside of their small Socal town. But after Zayn got accepted into his school of choice and Louis got rejected, they just didn't really talk about it anymore.

They didn't talk about it now, either. Even though Zayn was going to be moving away in less than a week. And Louis suspected that maybe Zayn felt guilty about it, but maybe he was really looking forward to it, and that made Louis feel guilty about making Zayn possibly feel too guilty to talk about it with him. He hated this whole situation.

“You good?” Zayn asked him.

“Yeah. Just...tired,” Louis said with a small laugh.

“Yeah, you've been driving all day, bro. It's gotta be tiring. Wish I already had my license, so I could have helped.”

“I offered to let you drive,” Louis smirked.

Zayn scrunched his mouth bashfully. “Yeah, well... you know how scared I am to drive fast.”

Louis shrugged. “Well, you're not going to have a car up there. Guess you won't have to get that license for a little bit longer.”

“But maybe I should do it ASAP so that I can get a car and be able to drive back home.” Zayn was staring at him with a straight face.

Louis tilted his head. “Yeah, that would be cool.”

It went silent, and then Zayn stood up and yawned.

“Head back to the hotel?” Louis asked.

  
Zayn nodded, then flashed a big grin. “Big day tomorrow!”

 

+

Usually when they slept over at each others' houses, Zayn and Louis slept in the same bed. This entire trip, they'd both been sleeping in their own beds, jumping in them, as well as making a mess in every single room just because they could. Though Zayn drew the line at eating or making a mess on their beds. It had been fun feeling like they were actual adults for once, having saved from their part time jobs over the summer just to finance for this three-day roadtrip. But in actuality, they ended up acting more like kids.

Louis wondered if this was going to be the last time they slept in the same room until... who knows when. Zayn was going off to his university in four days. To meet other people, to share a room with someone else. Some stranger. Someone else who was going to wake and fall asleep seeing Zayn. Someone who'd get used to the sound of his breathing. Someone who wouldn't know how to wake him up. Someone who might not be respectful of Zayn's delicate sleep schedule.

Or worse... someone who would learn all of these things and more.

And gradually Louis would fade from Zayn's thoughts. The calls and texts would become less frequent. He'd spend his days laughing with other people. Smoking with other people. Going on road trips with other people.

Fuck.

Zayn kicked his legs as he sat on one of the beds, bright look in his eye. “Can't believe we're doing this for another day! My parents aren't too happy,” he giggled.

“At least we're not out drinking or partying. In fact, we're being pretty boring,” Louis chuckled.

“Well, I'm still not old enough to drink,” Zayn protested with a scandalized look.

Louis side-eyed him. As if the law had stopped them from drinking or smoking together in the past two years.

Zayn broke out into laughter. “Okay, I know, I know... I prefer this, though. Just chillin. With you.”

Louis smiled and bit at his lip. “Yeah, me too.”

Zayn climbed under his sheets and Louis swallowed.

“Hey, Zayn?”

“Yeah, bro?” Zayn asked, picking up his head quickly.

“Can we... You wanna...?” Louis couldn't just ask. It was so... _ugh._

“You want to sleep with me?” Zayn asked.

Louis felt his cheeks warm. “If you don't mind...”

“'Course I wouldn't!” Zayn moved over and patted the empty space he made for Louis.

Louis smiled and quickly clambered over next to Zayn after he turned off the lights.

 

 

+

Louis felt well-rested when he woke up the next morning, lying on his side. Zayn was behind him, and he could hear his soft breathing. Louis closed his eyes again, reveling in probably the last time in who knows how long that he and Zayn would wake up together like this. Quiet. Safe. Private.

Louis felt a limb come over his stomach. He blinked open his eyes and saw Zayn curl himself more around him, his head resting against his shoulder now. Louis tried to steady his breathing, so that Zayn could rest more comfortably, gently moving with Louis's breath.

It was strange how he could crave something he already had, but this closeness... he wanted it forever. He leaned himself back into Zayn's body, and Zayn molded into him even more, so nothing was separating them.

Louis could almost cry from how much he loved this. How happy he was.

 

+

In half an hour, both Louis and Zayn got out of bed and went to a small diner for breakfast, and for some reason they were both feeling starved, so they ordered the biggest plates of waffles, fruit, potatoes, and biscuits.

They hadn't bothered showering that morning, so Louis and Zayn's hair were still stuck up and a bit messy, but Louis liked when Zayn looked this soft and unkempt and sleepy in the mornings. And well, he was just lazy and didn't like showering, and he felt more comfortable like this.

At one point, Zayn had asked for a kids menu so he could color and draw on the piece of paper they usually gave little kids, which was an underwater scene with sea creatures. Louis helped him a bit, and then he took the red crayon and started drawing in one of Zayn's tattoos.

Zayn giggled out in a high pitch. “That tickles!”

“Shh! Stay still, I'm creating a masterpiece!” Louis chided as he firmly grabbed a hold of his arm and continued to color into his skin.

“Well, in that case...” Zayn said with a sly bend of his eyebrows. He took a blue crayon and grabbed at Louis's collar, exposing his chest and tattoo. Zayn started drawing on one of the letters and Louis squealed. The coloring match turned into a pure tickling match and soon their hands were all over each other and they were giggling so loud that other people were starting to stare, which made Louis and Zayn laugh even harder and they ended up hugging each other to calm down their breathing.

“Oh, you two are so adorable! How long have you two been together?” the waitress asked as she came round at that moment.

Zayn dropped his smile and then bent his eyebrow at the waitress.

Louis blinked up at her. “What?”

The middle-aged lady turned pink. “Oh—um, I'm sorry. I just assumed you two were a couple since you seemed so close. Sorry!

“It's okay,” Louis said. After she walked away, Zayn looked down at the table.

“Ha, that was weird, huh?” Louis awkwardly swallowed.

“Yeah...” Zayn breathed out a half-hearted laugh, then took his arm off Louis's waist and moved a few inches away from him and took a piece of biscuit into his mouth.

Louis felt a bit pained by that. Now they weren't going to get to be close like this in public around people who didn't even know them?

“You almost ready to go?” Louis asked after clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I'm good.”

Zayn paid for the both of them, then smiled at Louis as he rubbed his full belly. “We're going to regret that in about an hour.”

Zayn giggled and Louis laughed in return.

“Thought you had a stronger stomach than that,” he said as he gently patted Zayn's belly. Zayn softly laughed and smiled at him.

As they walked down the street, Louis noticed how close their hands were, and he had an urge to hold Zayn's hand in his. It wasn't like they never did it before but... was that why someone might think they were a couple? Were the things they did together more intimate than what friends are supposed to do? Did they act like a couple?

Zayn slightly turned to Louis and gently blinked at him as he bumped his shoulder with Louis's.

Louis curled his fingers into a tight fist, worried that the urge to grab Zayn's hand would take over. And he didn't know what that would mean. To him or to Zayn.

He swallowed, feeling his heartbeat accelerate as he stared at Zayn, who he noticed—obviously not for the first time—was so beautiful in the morning light, the way the green and brown colors in his eyes sparkled at him underneath such long eyelashes, the way his lips looked so soft and rosy, the attractiveness of those dimples. Louis wouldn't mind being a couple with Zayn. They were so close already.

His heart froze.

Wait. Does this mean... does he like Zayn as more than a friend?

 

+

Louis had been internally screaming as soon as the thought entered his head that he is not totally averse to the idea of being in a romantic relationship with Zayn. But they were bros and Zayn was leaving. There was no way it would work out, even if Zayn did feel the same about him. He was still going to be faraway and friendship or more, long distance wouldn't bode well for them.

Zayn was alert and excited as Louis drove them to the zoo, sitting up in his seat and staring out the window like a puppy. Louis smiled and chuckled at this. It was too endearing. Not helping his internal crisis about his feelings for Zayn.

After they parked, Zayn skipped and grabbed Louis's hand to skip with him, so they could make it to the entrance gate as soon as possible.

“Loueh, we're goin' to see otters!” he yelped in that little strange voice of his. Louis couldn't help but grin wide—both at Zayn and the fact that when their hands were linked together, it felt so warm and natural.

The otter exhibit was fairly close to the entrance and Zayn all but sprinted there, growing quiet like a child in awe as soon as he saw the little creatures sitting or running along their rocky sanctuary. He draped himself over the partition and whispered out, “Louis! Look at them!”

Zayn smiled, looking like a tiny kid the way his eyes lighted up and how he squealed at seeing the baby otters chase each other. They were real cute, Louis admitted, but watching Zayn enjoy this was the cutest part. They went around to other exhibits, looking at penguins, llamas, monkeys, reptiles, sleeping lions, tigers, and funny-sounding birds. It was just the two of them running around from exhibit to exhibit and having fun and making jokes and looking at cool animals. Louis wished it could last forever. Zayn was so happy. So he was happy.

Although, the knowledge that they were going to have to go home soon flowered a seed of sadness in his heart. It was like the closer Zayn was to leaving him, the more Louis wanted him to stay, the more he realized just how much he loved him.

And it scared him.

He loved Zayn so much, he wasn't sure he was going to survive without him.

“Hey, you okay?” Zayn asked out of nowhere.

Louis blinked, being broken out of his thoughts. They were currently at the giraffe exhibit. “Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking.”

“About what?” Zayn asked, eyes serious and searching.

“About.... what kind of animal you resemble. I'm thinking a gecko...” Louis joked.

Zayn cracked a smirk, then pushed at Louis. “Well you're a hedgehog!”

Louis laughed, then bent his brow. “A hedgehog!?”

Zayn laughed. “Yeah, you're cute as one too, when you get angry.”

Louis blushed and—that was new. Zayn called him cute. “Shut up!”

They visited the otters one more time before they left the zoo and Louis nearly had to drag Zayn away.

“I just want to adopt five or ten, is that okay?” Zayn lamented as Louis wrapped an arm over his shoulder. They were in the parking lot, having just left the zoo.

“That's perfectly okay!” Louis chirped. “When you get your own house, you should have a big pool in the back, build your own otter sanctuary!”

Zayn softly laughed. “Yeah, that would be sick. You could help me feed them and train them to play basketball.”

“Yeah,” Louis replied, wondering how much longer he would be in Zayn's future plans.

 

+

After the zoo, they went to downtown Santa Barbara for a bit, then over to the nearby beach college town, Goleta. They parked on the street, then rode their longboards through the small, quiet streets among all the palm trees and frat houses. Louis wondered if it was going to be like this where Zayn was going. It hurt him to think that he was missing out on this kind of life with Zayn.

They had dinner at Freebirds, the local hot spot for burritos and nachos, and they shared a huge styrofoam container of shredded beef nachos, topped with all the works: beans, cheese, sour cream, guacamole, and hot sauce for Zayn—he teased Louis about not being able to handle it.

The both of them barely finished the nachos and stumbled away from the restaurant with longboards in hand.

“Shit.... why did we do that?” Zayn groaned as he grabbed at his stomach.

Louis laughed. “It was fucking worth it, though, those nachos were fucking bomb!”

“Yeah,” Zayn agreed.

They slowly ambled their way down to the beach and the view was beautiful. The water was warmer and lighter here than in Santa Cruz, and against the cliffs and palm trees, it looked like paradise.

Zayn and Louis took off their shoes to go into the sand and the water, walking along until they reached a deserted cliffside and plopped down into the sand. They didn't bring a towel with them, so they were just sitting in the sand, with Zayn's hoodie as a small blanket they shared.

“Thanks for taking me here,” Zayn said as he turned to Louis. “I've had an amazing day.”

“You're welcome,” Louis told him, ducking his head.

They looked to the horizon again, and the sun was setting.

“Hey, Lou... you're not angry with me, are you?” Zayn asked, not looking at Louis.

It shocked Louis. He stuttered. “N-no, I'm not!”

“You sure? I mean, I could have stayed closer to home...”

“No, Zayn... this was your dream!” Louis protested. “You deserve to get what you want.”

“I want you there, too,” Zayn said in a quiet voice, looking at Louis this time.

“Well... I couldn't make it happen. It's whatever,” Louis said, hoping they could stop talking about this.

“I just...” Zayn bit his lip. “I feel bad! And this trip, it's been incredible, but I feel like you haven't been having fun.”

“Of course I have!” Louis said a bit too loudly.

“Really? 'Cause like... you've been acting a bit weird,” Zayn told him with a scratch at his chin.

“No I haven't!” Louis retorted.

Zayn tensed his brow. “Bro, you're my best friend. You think I won't know when something is off?”

Louis looked to the side, then choked out a scoff. “Nothing's off. Let's just go home.”

“Is that what it is? That we're going home?”

Louis stared at him.

Zayn sighed and growled. “Come on.... what's going on?”

Louis couldn't tell him. No way. There was no way he'd ever tell him.

“It's okay if you're sad.” Zayn tensed his eyebrows with a compassionate look.

“I'm not sad!” Louis spat out as he narrowed his eyes at Zayn.

“You're not?”

Louis groaned. “Well.... of course I'm not happy about it! But I'm fine!”

Zayn blinked, then glanced down. “I'm sorry.”

“Shut up, Zayn. Don't say sorry,” Louis said.

“Well... I am! I hate that you're sad, and now I'm leaving and like... I don't want to leave you!”

Louis felt struck in his chest. He shook his head. “You're not going to feel like that when you get there. You'll make friends, you'll find new people to hang out with. You're not going to miss me.”

“Why are you saying that?” Zayn asked, his brow furrowed.

“Because it's true!” Louis shouted.

“Not going to miss you?” Zayn questioned with a laugh. “Are you fucking serious? Louis, there's no one like you! There never is going to be another—like, you're my bro. You're my best fucking friend. That's a hard title to beat.”

“Well, someone's going to beat it. Someday,” Louis muttered.

Zayn frowned. “Is that why you've been acting so moody?”

Louis sighed and stood up. “Look, let's just go home.”

Zayn stood up quick, letting sand rain down from his jeans. “No! Not until we figure this out!”

“There's nothing to figure out! You're leaving! I'm staying! That's all there is to it!” Louis replied.

Zayn moved in close to him, eyes narrowed. “You think I can stand to live with the idea that you're unhappy?”

“I'm fine!” Louis snapped.

“This is why I don't want to leave you—because you're stubborn as hell and unwilling to ever admit when you have a problem! And sometimes you let me in, but—“

“I let you in more than anyone else in this world,” Louis blurted out. Zayn's eyes widened.

“Louis... I love you. You know that, right?” Zayn asked him.

Louis felt tears well up in his eyes. It wasn't often that Zayn said this, not so seriously, not when he was looking at him like that. And it made Louis think... what if this were another context, not just as friends?

Louis nodded as he looked down. _I love you, too_ , is what he should say. But he can't make any words come out of his mouth.

“So know that... I'm never going to just move on from you, or whatever you think is going to happen! Don't you know me better than that?”

Louis looked up at him again and nodded.

“You're the most important person to me. Without you... I...” Zayn breathed out sharply, and Louis saw his eyes shining wetly now. “I don't know what I'm going to do.”

Louis reached forward and grabbed Zayn's neck. He looked him in the eyes. “Hey, I love you.”

Zayn's mouth was slightly open now as he breathed out heavily, staring at Louis with a tender look. He brought a hand up to Louis's and stroked it with his thumb. The sound of the ocean and the wind and the way Zayn's hair whipped across his forehead probably made this all a lot more dramatic than it really was, but Louis would still probably want to kiss him in any other setting. And this time, he wasn't strong enough to hold back against the urge.

He leaned forward on his toes and moved in quick, his eyes focused on Zayn's lips. He glanced up at Zayn's eyes just before he decided to fuck it—fuck everything, Zayn was leaving and he loved him, and he just wanted Zayn to be his and his alone, in every single way possible.

When their lips touched, it was like cold fire, the way it shocked Louis, the way it felt warm at the same time, the way Zayn had jerked forward, not backward, and responded with a press of his own lips. Louis's heartbeat thundered in his eardrums and he noticed his eyes were closed, until he pulled away with a smack.

Zayn's eyes were wide now, his lips still parted, though now he was breathing out hard. “What...?”

Louis blinked rapidly. “I don't know.”

Zayn blushed. “This just got a lot more complicated, didn't it?”

Louis exhaled sharply. “Yeah.”

“Want to try that again?” Zayn asked.

Before Louis could answer, Zayn moved in and wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him hard. Louis grabbed at his waist and kissed back, hissing as Zayn's teeth nipped at his lips. He was shaking, and the blood in his veins felt electric and he wanted to just keep kissing and holding Zayn like this forever.

They both were breathing hard as they pulled apart.

Zayn let out something that sounded like a sob. “What are we going to do now?”

 

+

“Well... we're here,” Louis said as they parked in front of Zayn's house.

After the kiss on the beach, they didn't talk about it. They just walked back to Louis's car in silence and they drove the two hours back to their hometown in mostly silence, only occasionally talking about a song or something they saw on the freeway.

Zayn gave him a sad stare.

“Well, you've got to get some rest, right? Start packing...” Louis awkwardly started.

“You can go with me, you know,” Zayn told him.

Louis shook his head.

Zayn frowned. “Why not?”

“Because...”

“Shit excuse,” Zayn muttered.

“Come on, Zayn. Go.” Louis gripped the steering wheel tight, as if that was reinforcement to not listen to Zayn. To try and keep this is as painless as possible, though that was a laughable concept.

“No.” Zayn had his brow wrinkled like an indignant child.

“Zayn!” Louis growled.

“I said no!” Zayn leaned forward and had curled his hand around Louis's neck. “I don't want to leave. Especially now... now that we've just...”

Louis felt tears well up in his own eyes and he blinked them away.

“Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?” Zayn asked.

“I didn't really know until today,” Louis breathed out.

Zayn nodded. “Yeah, me either.”

They didn't have to say it, Louis realized. They just looked at each other. Yes, they had always loved each other, but now they both realized just how much farther that love carried.

_Stay_ , Louis wanted to shout out. But he couldn't.

“I never should have kissed you,” Louis blurted out. “I just made it worse.”

“No, don't say that...” Zayn whispered as he stroked the hair behind Louis's ear. Then he moved in close.

Louis sharply breathed in, eyes darting between Zayn's mouth and his eyes.

They kissed slowly at first, like the first time, and then Zayn pushed, forcing Louis's mouth open as he deepened the kiss, making Louis's heart and body catch on fire again.

He pulled away, but caught at Zayn's collar at the same time. He touched his forehead to Zayn's. “Don't...”

“I'm sorry... but... you can't say you don't feel it, too?”

Louis met eyes with Zayn. “Of course I do!” he whispered out. “But we can't...”

Zayn leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to his lips again. “Louis, I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Louis felt tears trickle out of his eyes again.

“Please stop crying, babe? I'm not leaving you. Just this town.” Zayn gently stroked a hand through Louis's hair.

“You _are_ leaving me!” Louis retorted with a pitiful sniffle. “You're going to leave and you'll find new, better people to hang out with and we're going to drift apart and you'll find someone else to let in.”

Zayn gripped Louis around his neck again. “No one, and I repeat, _no one_ will ever replace you. You really think I'll find someone else who gets me like you do? You ever think I'm going to have the same thing with someone else? You think anyone else is better for me than you?”

“Maybe,” Louis muttered.

Zayn cast his eyes down and bit his lip. “What can I do... ? What can I do to prove that I'm yours? I'm yours alone, Louis. Let me do something!”

“We could get matching tattoos,” Louis joked with a sniffle.

Zayn laughed. “You have money?”

“No...” Louis laughed. “Maybe I can make my mark on you some other way, though...” He leaned forward and latched his teeth onto Zayn's neck. Zayn shuddered and hissed at the contact, until Louis had finished and felt good about the dark red bruise he'd left behind.

“It's gonna go away eventually, though...” Zayn breathed out.

Louis swallowed. “I'll just have to keep making them then, won't I?”

Zayn smiled at him as he gently ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, guess you will.”

Louis leaned forward and kissed him again, prolonging it as he touched his forehead to Zayn's.

“You'll visit me, won't you? We'll make it work,” Zayn told him with a crooked smile.

Louis swallowed down his tears. “Yeah. I'll try.”

“We'll try,” Zayn added as he cupped Louis's face.

Louis smiled.

Zayn then got a concentrated look in his eyes. “I need to make my mark on you, too. Make sure no one tries to steal you while I'm away. Maybe... maybe there's another way we can do this.”

“What do you mean?”

Zayn's eyes twinkled. “How do you feel about getting your ear pierced? Cheaper than a tattoo...”

 

+

Zayn and Louis went to a local tattoo/piercing shop and Louis got his left ear pierced with the twenty dollars they had left of their spending money.

“Here,” Zayn said as they sat back in the car and he handed Louis his earring to put in after Louis took off the one they'd bought, a sterling silver stud.

“You sure this is sanitary?” Louis asked as he let Zayn put the earring in place. He could still feel the puffiness and sensitivity.

“'Course it is!” Zayn said as he took Louis's new one and put it in his ear. And well, he was the more intelligent of the two of them, so Louis was going to believe him.

“Here, look!” Zayn flipped down the visor and opened the cover to the mirror to let Louis see the gold ring hanging off his very red ear under pointy tufts of hair.

“Not sure I can pull it off quite like you,” Louis said.

“Looks fucking sick on you, bro,” Zayn assured him as he leaned in close and pressed a soft kiss to his ear.

Louis gasped, then turned to Zayn with a grin. “I love you.”

Zayn's eyebrows lifted, then tilted as his eyes softened. “I love you, too.”

Louis blushed as they met eyes, and Zayn wouldn't look away from him, just gazing at him with that warmth until Louis had to look down to break away from it. He felt a soft hand underneath his chin, and Zayn was close now.

“You're so fucking cute when you get bashful, you know that?”

Louis swallowed before Zayn moved in closer and pressed his lips to Louis's mouth. Louis closed his eyes and kissed back, frozen in his seat.

“You want to stay over?” Zayn asked after he let go.

Louis wordlessly nodded.

“Look at that, I've made him speechless,” Zayn remarked with a wide grin.

“Shut up!” Louis snapped as he swatted at Zayn's arm. Then he smiled at him.

 

+

Once they got inside, Zayn's family greeted them both and helped them take Zayn's stuff inside.

“So glad you're finally home,” Tricia said as she held Zayn close to her. Zayn's dad, Yaser, whom Louis was not on a first name basis with, held his hand out for Louis to shake.

“Thank you for bringing Zayn home safe, Louis. Really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis said as he shook his hand.

“Louis, are you staying over?” Tricia asked.

“Yeah, I am,” Louis said, feeling himself blush. Even though he had stayed over plenty of times before. But now that he and Zayn were more than friends, it meant something different. And he is sure Tricia noticed the bruise on Zayn's neck as soon as they walked in.

“We're totally exhausted,” Zayn said as he swung an arm around Louis's neck, “So we're gonna go to bed. Goodnight mom, goodnight dad!”

“Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Malik!” Louis hastily said before Zayn dragged him up the stairs with him.

They were giggling together by the time they got to Zayn's bedroom and dropped their stuff on the floor. They smiled at each other and awkwardly laughed once they went quiet.

“Guess we should get ready to go to bed, yeah?” Zayn asked as he scratched at the back of his head.

“Yeah,” Louis agreed.

Zayn cleared his throat, then went to pick up some clothes out of his bag. Louis did the same, picking up a pair of basketball shorts.

He gulped as he looked back at Zayn. Usually, they undressed in front of each other no problem. Had been for years. But now that they had kissed and were basically together now, this was a bit different, wasn't it?

“Look, is it going to be weird undressing around me now? I mean, we've seen each other's dicks before,” Zayn awkwardly started.

“Oh yeah,” Louis said just as he remembered what Zayn's dick looked like. His throat got dry.

Zayn cleared his throat. “I mean, if it makes you feel better, like... umm...”

“Do you want to watch me undress?” Louis asked as his cheeks flamed.

“Uh...” Zayn swallowed as his eyes widened.

“I mean, like.. I don't mind.”

Zayn shrugged a shoulder as he kept his eyes on Louis. “I mean, if you want...”

“Okay.” Louis's hands shook as he reached at the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it aside. Then he unbuttoned his jeans and unzipped them, glancing up to watch Zayn, who was staring intently at him. It made Louis's heart skip a beat. Then he pulled at his jeans and wriggled out of them, making sure to turn around so his ass was facing Zayn now. He knew how good it looked. He's seen Zayn appreciate it before, too.

Except his skinny jeans really were hard to take off and wriggling was only doing so much when they were still attached to his thighs. Louis growled as he jumped a bit to shake them off, then heard Zayn quietly laugh behind him. Eventually, he lost balance and had to sit on the floor to try and take them off. Zayn quickly moved over and crouched down in front of him.

“Here, let me help you,” he giggled as he pulled one of the legs of the jeans down and Louis finally got free, just in his boxers now.

“Thanks,” Louis told him with a gulp. Zayn was still fully clothed, scanning his eyes over Louis's body.

“You're so perfect,” he remarked in a quiet voice, as if he was thinking out loud.

Louis blushed. “Don't say that...”

“Why? It's true,” Zayn told him with a smile.

Louis looked away. “Yeah, well... thanks. Take off your clothes now.”

Zayn laughed. “Right...”

It was Louis's turn to watch now as Zayn gracefully peeled off his tank top, then dropped it on the floor. He took his jeans off quickly, slipping out one leg at a time, then kicking them aside.

He and Louis met each other's gaze as he stood with his boxer-briefs still clad. Louis stood up, glancing over Zayn's body, beautifully toned and with tattoos all over. If anyone in this room, in this world, was the perfect one, it was him.

Zayn walked up to Louis now, casting his eyes down to his chest.

“What?” Louis asked.

“I want to claim you, too. You can take that piercing off, but I want to give you something you can't take off, too.” Zayn bent his head low, then kissed at the center of Louis's chest, latching his teeth onto his skin.

Louis sharply hissed out, trying to stand still, trying to not get embarrassed at how his nipples instantly perked at that.

Zayn sucked on his chest until a red spot had formed.

“There,” Zayn said as he pulled away. “Your heart is mine.”

“Now _that_ is corny,” Louis joked.

Zayn pushed at his arm and Louis laughed.

“So... we should go to bed now?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah,” Louis gulped. They both pulled on shorts and then got into Zayn's double bed after turning off the light. It was a warm night, so they really didn't need any sheets, especially as it was the two of them in the same bed.

Louis's skin tingled as Zayn brushed his hands and limbs against him. It was strange how all these regular sensations felt new, now that they had changed what they were to each other. But they weren't going to rush into it. It didn't have to be said. They'd barely moved from friends to lovers today. Sex could wait. And Louis would prefer their first time not to be down the hall from Zayn's parents and his sisters. He could wait, and Zayn was definitely worth the wait.

Louis lied curled into Zayn's side, head on his heartbeat, Zayn's hand on his ribs.

He felt absolutely safe in his hold.

The future was still scary, but knowing how much Zayn loved him made him feel secure, like they were a buoy among those rocking ocean waves. They might get tossed around and blasted at, but they would remain afloat. And now they've got matching piercings. They made claims on each other's bodies. He didn't need much more security than that.

“Louis?” Zayn mumbled.

“Yeah?”

“When do you think we should tell my parents that we're... well, together now?”

Louis's cheeks heated up. “You want to tell them I'm your boyfriend?” he asked as he picked up his head to look at Zayn.

Zayn had a bashful smile on his face. “Well, it's my family. And you're family. They already love you. They'd probably be ecstatic."

Louis laughed. “Sure, let's do it over breakfast.”

“Then they'll never let you sleep over again until we're married,” Zayn giggled.

“I can wait,” Louis said.

Zayn scoffed. “I appreciate your romantic effort but we both know that's fucking bullshit,” he giggled again.

“Whatever!” Louis laughed as he burrowed his face back into Zayn's chest.

“Hey, I get to call you my boyfriend now,” Zayn mused out loud after a bit of silence.

Louis blushed. “And you're mine. My boyfriend away at his big-shot college.”

“And you're my devastatingly handsome boyfriend back home, on your own journey.”

Louis sighed. “Still wish I was going with you.”

“We'll always find a way to be together. And this isn't goodbye.”

“I know that now,” Louis said.

“Me and you, bros or boyfriends or more... we're forever.” Zayn gently massaged his fingers through Louis's hair as he said this. “Remember? Ride together...”

“Die together.” Louis turned his head and kissed Zayn before pulling away and smiling. “I'll always remember.”


End file.
